Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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