I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
