Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
