Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
