i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
