My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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