matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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