I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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