My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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