I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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