Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
