i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize