Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize