thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".