Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(931): View more from Tennessee

my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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(417): View more from Missouri

My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.

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(740): View more from Ohio

He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(808): View more from Hawaii

he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted

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(614): View more from Ohio

Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.

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(+33): View more from France

So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?

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(347): View more from New York

He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding

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