I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions