it was like eating out sand paper
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
