i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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