so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
