I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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