i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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