I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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