go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
