My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
