and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
