Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
