hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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