Well apparently he's into motor boating.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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