You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
