Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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