sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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