Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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