my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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