I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
