mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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