I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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