I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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