A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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