So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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