Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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