i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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