Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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