He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
