So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
