omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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