The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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