I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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