Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
