Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I pour the whiskey from now on
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
