its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
