You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How's work?
Spinning.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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