I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
