I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
