There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
