And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize