i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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