i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
