Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash

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(620): View more from Kansas

I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.

Fav 10 5036 1128
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(972): View more from Texas

Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?

Fav 3 2373 1116
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(859): View more from Kentucky

you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.

Fav 5 2827 1178
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(704): View more from North Carolina

CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.

Fav 6 1252 647
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(848): View more from New Jersey

We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.

(848): View more from New Jersey

A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.

Fav 3 1792 883
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(931): View more from Tennessee

What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."

Fav 3 801 499
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(949): View more from California

Are you going to regret this?

(404): View more from Georgia

No I do t think so

(949): View more from California

Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.

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