He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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