I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
