yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
