sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
