he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
