dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
